They have to eat something, food not pills, before you do. Same with water.
Either they eat, or you starve and are uncomfortable and unhealthy.
But I didn't take it that far.
It's a little radical, a little extreme, a little half baked. I thought it was a good idea though so I went through it.
Here's the first, what, five days of having anorexia/being a recovering anorexic.
Aha.
So its interesting seeing just what people become.And finding out why people do things that don't make sense.Have you always wondered why some people do certain things?Finding out is a strange zen path. It's having to walk a razor line between yourself and them, or their condition.I've also found that people aren't just raised into something. So many factors can make someone something, themselves, the world, genetics.One thing I can vouch for is unconventionality. Sure, there's always that kid that doesn't understand or isn't understood, always alone, the outcast whom is not cast.But when that kid gets an idea to be alone, or like a dog, loyal to death, what comes of it?I'll tell you. I'll tell you gooder.Dated, 1/15/2011, 0000.35 hours, MST.
No blog entry for 1/16/2011, due to the fact of hunger, dehydration, and general lack of everything.
Next day: It's not hard to keep to once you do. You drool a lot, but eventually forget about it. Keeping busy is nice, I see why some people do that.
It's weird though that not drinking enough water doesn't allow me to wake up in the morning. I usually use having to pee as an excuse but due to being cut basically everything.
I found an immense ability to concentrate on the simplest things. Plus, I had a Carmel Frappe Crappe thingy.
It was goooood D:
And I spazzed for about most of the day, invoked the wrath of Mormans, made people look at me funny, continue my education, plot, plan, cause general havok, learned a little about washing clothes, even some cooking, it was great.
I found myself staring into space, zoning out, wanting to break. I mean break something. Aha.
I had gotten tired, I was even gonna mention it, of not eating, of not drinking, of not being ahead all the time, having to do everything else because I'm so hungry.
I've dropped about 12 pounds so far, I'm sure mostly water. I walk usually at about 174.
So I'm estimating about 160, I couldn't strip down for a right on weight measurement due to guests.
I've also gotten very un-inhibited. I did things I never even thought of. It was hilarious.
But I reached a breaking point today. Tomorrow, I try and push past it.
Dated, 2/16/2011, 225910 MST
Next day (thursday)
Had one hot pocket today. Whoo.
Along with about 5 cups of cream and sugar laden coffeeeee.
Ugh, all that sugar has calories, but I have lost a lot of weight, I'm liking the way I look. Though I want to be skinner and smaller and all that.
Not as much water today, but coffee helped a lot. I actually peed clear a couple of times so thats good. The rest of the day was somewhat uneventful.
Besides the insane balls I just happened to buck up with and grow. I walked in and asked people about things without hesitation. Never done that before. Haha, its amazing how powerful you can concentrate when you're trying to ignore something.
I only felt hunger pangs a couple of times today. Earlier when I was hanging out with a friend, and just a little while ago when I was jabbering. It's all good.
And so far, it's working.
Dated, 2/17/2011 2259.40 MST
For 18,19th, partial on 20th:
Whelp
Getting good on not drooling when looking at food or smelling food or thinking of food. Whoop did it again. Hahah. Nothing fits now.
Literally
I have three pairs of pants that fit satisfactorarily enough aound the waist and length. Other than that, I have 10 unusable pairs that will only wear out faster.
Also, water. I like water. It's bad that I'm getting less than 3 liter bottles of water a day. It's good I got five cups of coffee on the 18th. :D They were all so good. And about two on the 19th, with a couple of bowls of oatmeal and a marshmallow tossed in my coffee. Oooo I feel so naughty eating that with coffee its so high calorie. lol
I'm down to about 162. Just a clothed estimate with 8 pounds of clothes on. Why?
Because it's snowing. Fuck you snow. Fuck you in the face.
The extreme ability to concentrate oddly enough continues. Perhaps sleep deprep will stop that. And stuff. It's kinda turned from the initial idea into a hybrid "Helpingfriend/GettingGoodatRangerSchool" kinda deal. It's mutual benifit. Yes.
I'm burning more calories than I'm putting in for hell yeah. I did manage to get some chinese food the other day. I'm learning that every bite is just so delicious. All the time. Good to eat. I want food still, but I still have some left overs to get to eat hopefully tomorrow. If not, it means more coffee.
Which isn't so bad.
Dated, more or less 2/20/2011 0228.02
